Arts Connections Advice #7

Q: I'm an adult who lives at home with my parents and we often have conflict. How do I get them to see me more as an adult?

A: It all comes down to responsibility. The more you can do to prove your independence and contribute to the household, the more you will likely be seen as adult. The first step is picking up after yourself and not making extra work for those around you. Then it's a good idea to find chores that are easiest for you to do and that you're best at. And don't forget to be a good team member and work with your parents (or other family member) to do certain things that you might not be able to do completely on your own. Make dinner together, set the silverware, while your mom puts out the plates, unload the bottom rack  of the dishwasher and hand dishes off to someone else to put in cabinets. If you'd like to start managing your money, work together to create a budget and start a savings account. Give yourself a certain amount of spending money, and put the rest into savings. See if you can stick to your budget and save toward bigger items. And don't forget to work on cooperation and a positive attitude. If you want your parents to stop punishing you, make sure that they clearly outline their expectations and that you are following through. If your system isn't working, bring it up with them so that you can work out a solution together. If you are in a bad mood, try to develop strategies so that you don't take it out on others. Keep the lines of communication open to avoid misunderstandings as well. It's not always easy to live in harmony, and you're going to have disagreements from time to time, but as long as you view living together as cooperative undertaking, you will get the respect you seek.